The Perfect Blend

https://www.flickr.com/photos/rgarciasuarez74/4012174390/

When I met Adrian, it was clear we had similar "baggage". We both came from a not-so-amicable divorce, we both had children from that previous marriage, and we both were never going to get married again. (Ya see how that worked out, don't ya?)

These days, we live in a society of blended families. It's the norm, really. People never used to be as surprised to hear an older, married couple say they were celebrating their 25th, 40th, or 50th wedding anniversary. Nowadays, it's astonishing just to hear if someone hasn't been divorced at least once. And yep - I'm part of that society.

After we started seeing each other on a serious level (sounds so mature, doesn't it?), we knew that we weren't just seeing each other, but also each other's children. Then, when we got married, we knew we weren't just marrying each other, but becoming part of the parental units the children would share. I am a person of faith, and I can tell you that the moment I accepted Adrian's proposal, I prayed he would be an example of a man that would buy the truth and not sell it; gain wisdom, instruction, and understanding, and then deliver it to our children. I prayed with all my might he would put aside all judgment and generously share with the children his unconditional love he had for me, and that he would have a "Joseph-spirit", (Joseph, the step-father of Jesus, who, in my opinion was the greatest step-father who ever lived).

I prayed he would be the perfect father, and that together we would be the perfect parents.

Um, NO.

Though at the present time I am the richest woman in the world, it has not come without its trials, pitfalls, difficulties, and snags. The process has been less-than-perfect. There have been disagreements, arguments, knock-down-drag-outs, and moments we are less-than-proud of. We have seen illness, death, valleys, and psychiatrists. We have had seasons where we gained friends and family, but also lost friends and family. We have shared in drama, defeat, lost savings; had powerful, emotional lows, and scraped the bottom of life's barrel. And we did it all together.

Don't get me wrong, we have all - Adrian, me, AND the kids - worked at it with all our hearts, and the price of the success we share as a family unit came through that hard work and dedication. Because with all of those things, we have also seen grace, mercy, compassion, and triumph over illness. We have been taught endurance, grown in faith, strength, and perseverance, and learned to trust. We have celebrated the peaks, marriages, each other, life, and love. And we did it all together.

We have a beautiful family, and we are protective of that. We live a charmed life, always enjoying the things that most people don't see right in front of them, and we are joyful and thankful for that. But if it was all taken away from us tomorrow, we would remember that life is a big canvas and we threw all the paint on it we could; we would remember that we made the decision to be a family and commit ourselves to making it a success; we would remember that without the valleys there would be no peaks. We would remember that we were given the gift of being like a unique wine - the gift of being intricately perfected and blended.

Hard-Working Valentine

Photo Source: http://moonstarsandpaper.blogspot.com/2007_02_01_archive.html

One Valentine’s Day years ago, my husband asked me on a date.  Now, as married people trying to keep our marriage fresh, we go on date night quite often.  Sometimes it’s a romantic dinner out; sometimes it’s a romantic dinner in.  Sometimes it costs money, sometimes it doesn't.  A successful marriage is hard work and well worth it in the long run.

This particular time he took me out to dinner.  It was very nice.  I thought to myself how sweet my husband was as we were on our way home.  As we pulled in the driveway, I noticed he looked a little nervous.  Knowing my darling husband’s affinity for gas, I assumed the meal wasn't sitting right.

“I know this sounds weird, but I need you to stay in the truck for a few minutes.”  I had no idea what the heck he was talking about.  This particular Valentine’s was a little chilly outside and I had no intention of sitting in the truck to wait for the beautiful heat I knew was calling my name from inside the house.

“I don’t have a choice, She.  Please just trust me and stay out here for a few minutes.  I’ll come get you.”  He must have read my face.  But I’m no fool.  It was obvious at that point he had something romantically diabolical going on, and I wasn't ABOUT to ruin it.

Sure enough, a few minutes later my husband came to retrieve his chilly wife.  He came around to the door, opened it, took my hand, and looked like he was about to cry.  I realized that I, too, started getting a little nervous.

As I got to the walkway and was looking down in an attempt to watch where I was going in the dark in very high shoes, I noticed rose petals.  Lots and lots of them.  And they went right under the front door.  I stopped and looked up at Adrian, who REALLY looked anxious and weepy-eyed now.  He got in front of me, still holding my hand, and he opened the door.

Now to some, what I’m about to tell you he did may sound cheesy. And I don’t care.  That’s why he’s the best husband ever.  He IS cheesy, and he IS romantic, and he owns it, and that, Ladies, and Gentlemen, is why you can’t stop reading this particular blog post.  BOOM.

The door opened and it was dark, except for the ga-ZILLION candles.  (Maybe it wasn't a gazillion, but it was a lot – like the way you only see it on soap operas or Lifetime moves)  And Sade's  “This Is No Ordinary Love” softly rang through the house,  just like she was singing directly to to ME.   I looked down at the rose-petal path.  The smell of incense was the perfect touch as I looked at Adrian and he told me to “follow the path".  Around the corner and inside the room we go…straight to the bathroom. Wait.  That doesn't sound romantic.  Let me say it another way.  It led me straight to the Bath Room.  There, a hot bubble bath was waiting, with rose petals sprinkled into it.  On the side of the tub…the pièce de résistance – a glass of wine!! 

You would think it stops there.  But it doesn't.  He washed my hair for me.  He washed my feet for me.  And he cried and told me how blessed he was to have me. And all the while, Sade sang her lungs out.

He had really worked hard for me - for us.

And then (of course) as the story goes…Bowchickabowbow!!  (Now simmer down, Folks.  We married-and-deeply-in-love people tend to do that sometimes.)

Go and enjoy your Valentine’s Day.  If you have a Valentine, whether it's your spouse, your parent, a special person in your life -  take the time to put a little hard work into the relationship.  Trust me when I tell you the hard work will pay off in the long run.

 Thank you for being my Valentine every day, Adrian.  I love you so.

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