LASDI© (photo by The DAUGHTS, Chelsea Erickson of The Untidy Tribe)
“Happy New Year!” It’s what everyone says at midnight. Or the entire next day. They even say it for about a week afterwards without a second thought. There is something about that 11:59 pm landmark and the 10-second countdown that arouses excitement and promise and enthusiasm. And hope. Hope for something new and better; a better future because the past wasn’t good enough.
We contemplate the last 365 days with disdain and disgust. We blame the year behind us for our weight gain, or not having lost the weight from the year prior. We blame the year behind us for losing our jobs or not being financially stable. We blame the year behind us for the losses we suffered or for the illnesses that we or loved ones experienced. We blame the year behind us for any relationship problems we had or toxic situations we may have been in. We blame the year behind us for all things terrible in our lives.
And we all think that this new number – this new magical date in time – will bring about the glory we’ve been searching for all our lives. We somehow think that it will flip a switch in us or in our environment or even in the world that will make everything better.
That’s why we make resolutions and set goals. We turn around and look behind us and don’t like what we see. We do a mirror check and think of all the ways we can improve. We consider all the things we want and draw up a plan on how to obtain them. There are even some of us that think it’s cooler not to set the resolutions, or that say we don’t believe in them. I don’t blame that group. Why bother anyhow when television gives us the statistics about how our resolutions fail by February or how many of us in percentage terms simply throw them out the window the next day.
Somehow our fate lies in the countdown. Don’t get me wrong. I am a flawed human and I fall into every category I just described in one way or another. This New Year was a strange time of processing for me. I kept telling The Hubster the entire week leading up to it that I wasn’t going to fall into this 2020: The Year of Perfection idea. It was, after all, just another day with a new number attached to it. None of us can predict the future. Though we had quite a rough-and-tumble year in 2019, who is to say 2020 wouldn’t be the very same? Who is say there won’t be loss or illness or hard times? I, in fact, found myself annoyed at the thought of the New Year meaning new life. We were outside watching the fireworks when the countdown began. I joined in on the fun because, well, that’s what we’re ‘supposed to do’, right? Midnight! I turn to kiss Adrian. (Somewhat for traditions’ sake, but mostly because I love to kiss My Husband.) I felt hot tears streaming down my face out of nowhere. I was still pressing my lips on his, but felt my body silently sobbing. I heard the people around me joyously shouting the New Year salutations and hugging and kissing and whooping. And I was eyes closed, weeping, being held in My Life Partner’s arms and being allowed to do so. And then I finally realized why: though I wasn’t giving the New Year any magical life powers, I was relieved to feel the melt-away of the Old Year’s power of hardships to our life.
But for us, it always comes down to faith. That’s where our hope lies. At the risk of sounding like one of Scrooge’s ghosts, faith is past, present, future. Faith that the past was necessary to make you stronger, draw you closer to it; faith that whatever is happening presently is enough and to see exactly where the blessings are. Faith that the future holds real life, and whatever that looks like, we can get through it, whether bad or good – but never perfect and we accept that. It’s the only life we have. The one life we’ve been given.
Do we spend it pining after things we want as opposed to being content with that we have? That isn’t to say goals aren’t good; there’s growth in improvement. Remember that when we are also told to go easy on ourselves and give ourselves some grace when we don’t achieve the resolutions or goals. Why do we need a New Year for that?
Each DAY is new. Be careful when you say things like, “I can’t wait until …” or “I wish this day would be over” – good times or bad, happy or sad, let’s not wish our life away. It is but a vapor and will be gone before you know it, whether we live to be 1 or 100. None of us are promised tomorrow. And thank goodness for yesterday. And this present moment is HERE. Find joy in it. Let’s spend it in balance looking forward to the big future, but grateful for the big behind.