What's It Gonna Cost Me?

My husband and I date - not other people, of course, but we date each other.  Last night was a good date.  Times are definitely tough right now and belts are tighter than they've ever been; somehow, we managed to have a great date night...free of charge!!

It started when he picked me up at my house.  Okay, we live at the same house, but a lady likes it when a gentleman comes a-callin'.  (Besides, it makes for a good story!)

Adrian has always opened doors for me.  I'm a bit of a male-chauvenist, so it's never bothered me.  I actually love it.  He has opened my car door whether we are leaving home, a garage sale, or the opera...he does not discriminate and I love that.  It's the little things that mean a lot.  But it's especially nice on date night.

Anyway, back to the story.  So he picked me up (or walked me out to the car).

We headed to our first destination, which was a (sooooooooo long-overdue) mani / pedi for me, while Adrian sat in a massage chair next to me with the power on full blast.  Sipping wine and listening to soft music while getting my foot rubbins and arm and neck massage on was amazing...but what felt better is that it was all fer-ee!! (WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?)  You heard me right!    Cameron gave me a gift card for Christmas to my favorite place (which I haven't seen in awhile) and we decided to start our date there because we knew they offered a free glass of wine with your pedicure.  So massage, manicure, pedicure, (tip, of course, was covered by the certificate) before-dinner cocktail, soft lighting and music = all free.  So far, so good.

Next, we decided to go to one of those places you can get dinner and a movie all in one place - not always the cheapest route to take these days, but apparently nothing's too good for us.  Guess how much I'm gonna tell you it was?  Come on, you see a pattern here, don't ya?  Well, in case you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation and wonder - it was free!  HOW THE HECK WAS DINNER AND A MOVIE FREE, YOU ASK?  Chelsea and Sam gave us a $25 gift card for Christmas (yea, we made out like bandits from our kids) and that covered the dinner part.  I received an email from this establishment for one free ticket.  (The name of the place is not relevant, because I subscribe to tons of places for reasons just like this one and you can, too).   I then searched through my Entertainment coupon book, found one for a free movie ticket to the same place, (did a yippee-doo-dah dance) and voila!  Dinner and a movie = all free.  WORD.

Now keep in mind that all the affection we showed each other throughout the night, holding hands (yes, we still do that), the laughs we shared, the time together = all free.  Exhausted from being pampered all evening, we headed home.  

I am grateful for the Christmas gifts, but even without them, we know how to paint the town red free of charge all the time, and we do it.  Date night is necessary.  PERIOD.  It doesn't matter what the dynamic or make up of your family is: small kids, grown kids, no kids.  Date night is essential to keeping your marriage healthy.  And we're proof that you don't even have to spend a lot to do it.

I won't tell you how we ended the date, but I WILL tell you that didn't cost us a thing, either. ;-)

The Constant Struggle

I was a single mother of Chelsea and Cameron for quite awhile before Adrian rode in on his white horse (with Jordan in tow) and our blended family was created.  There was that time it was just the three of us though, and I often think of the things I did or said as their only parental figure that I wish I could change.  I don't have any regrets, really, because they both turned out to be incredible human beings.  I think so much of that has to do with the one constant they have had their entire life together:  each other.  From the time Chelsea was 16-months old and Cameron came into the world, they have been together through thick and thin.  

No matter who they were with, no matter where they were, they were always together and were there to protect each other.

There was one time - Chelsea was in the fifth grade and Cameron was in the fourth - there was a bully that had been picking on Cameron and was meeting him after school to beat him up...turns out the bully was a jy-nor-mus young lady (of sorts).  According to legend, Chelsea saw the crowd gathering and went to see what was going on.  Seeing the victim was her little brother, she stopped the bully cold, (using methods we will save for another story) and when she looked around to see if her brother was okay.............he had hidden himself under a bush (he says it's because he was told never to hit a girl, and we "believe him").

To help Cameron save face, I will tell you that years later we had moved into a new house during the summer months, so the kids weren't in school.  Chelsea and Cameron were old enough to stay home by themselves, and were playing a board game when they heard a noise outside.  Cameron looked out the window and saw a man on the side of the house.  He shuffled his sister into the closet, telling her not to move and to cover herself up with a blanket, picked up one of Adrian's golf clubs, called Adrian, and proceeded to tell him in a whisper that Chelsea was safely concealed in the closet and he had a golf club and he was ready to use it - he was 11.  Turns out he protected Chelsea from the man that was turning our water on for us.  What would he have done had it been a real predator??  I shudder to think how helpless a golf club-wielding 11-year-old would have fared, but the point is he was protecting his older sister from any harm at all costs.

Don't get me wrong, they have fought like cats and dogs most of their life and even said terrible things to one another, but let anyone ELSE say something out of sorts and it's AWN.

Last July, Chelsea got married.  We all dealt with it differently.  Cameron loves Sam (we all do!) and he was so happy to welcome an older brother into the family.  He never once said he was sad to see his sister move out (he was thrilled to move into her room).  But the wedding photographer caught the truth in his heart when she took the following picture that was taken at the end of the reception when Sam and Chelsea rode off into the sunset together...

Goodwill Toward Men

I've always been aware that I will be an eccentric old lady.  Even when I was young (er) I knew that.  I'll be the one who has dyed her hair way too black, and it will go way past my hairline on my forehead.  My red lipstick will look stained and overdone and go far too much outside the lip line.  My eyebrows will be black as coal, and drawn on to make me look like I'm surprised all the time.  I will wear gold lamé track suits and canvas sneakers with flowers all over them.  And I will smell good...like any respectable eccentric old lady should.  These things are expected of me, and I will own it.

I'm already well on my way.  I dress a little outside the box most days, but at 41 I know exactly who I am without question and my sense of style or fashion (I use those words loosely!)goes along with that.  But at 41 I also know the value of a dollar, and I've found a way to beat the system: Goodwill.

Some of you may frown upon the thought of second-hand, or shudder when it comes to wearing what someone else has worn.  Understood.  And I warn you to stop reading here if that is you.  I wouldn't want your skin to crawl at the thought of the red linen Versace shirt I bought Cameron with the $80 tag still on it for $3.99.  Or the $200 couture suit that Adrian still says is the best one he owns for $13.  Or even the $26 Prada knock-off purse I bought for myself for exactly $ .99 (that's ninety nine CENTS, Ladies and Gents).

For those of you who don't mind saving money, then read on because there is a method to the madness.  Some Goodwills are VERY proud of their stuff; by this, I mean that the pricing is left to each Goodwill's discretion.  I found a really cute wooden salad bowl I was going to get that I THOUGHT was $1.99.  It turned out to be $11.99 when I got to the register.  When I inquired what made this bowl so special, they couldn't tell me and I abandoned the purchase.  I found a cuter wooden bowl at Target (pronounced "Tar-jzay") for half that.  So definitely be cautious - just because it's Goodwill doesn't mean it's automatically a good deal.

And ya gotta be willing to DIG.  You can't just peruse...you must find your arm strength to be able to move the hangers as you look because they pack those clothes in there like cattle and you may miss the perfect bargain find if you ridicule the practicality of digging.

Look, I already know that Goodwill is mostly the place that people go when they're looking for a Halloween  costume cheap, or to just drop off the stuff they wouldn't be caught dead in when they want to feel charitable.  But don't count it out for help with your everyday wardrobe.  It makes up about 98% of what we wear and saves us money that we can use for lots of other things.

Be careful to wash  or dry clean the clothes and to get those dreaded plastic tags off before heading out of the house.  I've been caught with one sticking out of the shoulder of a dress and though I'm not ashamed of where I shop, it was not one of my finer moments.

I don't have to dye my hair yet, but I will do so proudly when the time comes.  My lipstick has always been and will always be far too red and outside the lip line, and I draw on my eyebrows with careful precision (for now).  I don't own a gold lamé track suit, but am on the lookout for one all the time...and I always smell good, like any respectable ANY-aged person should!  And I am a proud thrift store shopper who wishes you all peace on earth and Goodwill toward men (women, and children).