Designed: A Guest Blog

Please do not copy this photo - all rights (reservedly) reserved through The Durham Family

Well, this month's Guest Blogger is very special to me.  You can rest assured you're in for something wonderful when you read her words.  She will tell you where to find her other work in the post, but I like that I can find her by my side whenever I need her.  Carly Durham is a woman of rare quality and substance and I admire and adore her.  You can look for a large dedication to her in my upcoming book - and an even larger one in my heart of hearts.  Love you, Car.  Readers:  READ ON.

Writing a guest blog for a woman who I consider to be nailing it when it comes to being a woman who can do it all (which she herself admits, she does not and we do not have to do it all- be it all, she just wants to encourage us to do what we do overflowing with passion and love) surprisingly brought up some shoved away insecurities.  I guest blog from time to time for random internet blog buddies and write occasionally over at adoption.com but a post for Life-As-She-Does-It felt daunting. And then she had to go and get the witty Katy Livingston to go first, leaving me the follow up post. I stand little chance. It’s like signing up for a meal train to bring my store-bought chicken or grilled cheese sandwiches the night after your foodie friend has listed she is making lambs with chimi-churi sauce and homemade buttered-pecan ice-cream. The "look-ahead" is a real technique to make sure you are not setting up your people for disappointment. Now here I offer you my boxed mac n’cheese with added hotdogs weenies after you just ate homemade beef bourguignon.  Go ahead a lower your expectations my people. 

While I no longer fear that I will be childless, my lack of fertility is a theme that runs deep in my life.  Insecurity attached to infertility molds my thoughts and shapes my worldview.
What does it say about me? About God? About who I am suppose to be?
Honestly, I give it way to much power. Why do I let it take root so deeply?
Here is where we are at: We have never stopped trying. Really, how can I stop? After 5 years of charting, peeing, calculating, I know this stuff down cold and am constantly aware of where I am at in my cycle. Woman was created to bear children. Go forth and multiply. Labor and Birth.
What does that say about me that I do not join my fellow woman in this path?
In a moment of doubt and insecurity, I sought counsel and comfort in a friend after a month of disappointment and grief.

"It's not so much that I ache for pregnancy so much anymore, I just feel flawed to my very core.  My body….. It's just I……… How come I don't do what I was designed to do! I hate my ovaries. UGH!"

Speaking TRUTH over me, she replied:

"I hear you what you are saying, on a whole, as a woman, what you feel women were designed to do. BUT YOU. YOU.  You were fearfully and wonderfully made and designed. There is great purpose in that."

Designed.

Can I hold on to that promise? Can I uproot the belief that I am failing in my "role" as a woman and rather plant the conviction that I was designed? That I was indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13).

And further, when I question this truth, what am I saying about God?

Then I really dig in a little more, when I question this truth, what am I saying about my uniquely designed son?

I firmly believe he is fearfully and wonderfully made with this incredible extra chromosome. I would not for one-second question his design. Every inch! Every chromosome! (ohhh goodness- have you heard that he is the cutest baby in the world - because word is spreading fast!!!)

Designed.

Thankfully, God, He is not afraid of the dark places my doubts and insecurities take me sometimes and He finds me there. 

He would also be pretty cool about it if you wanted him to go ahead and shine some light on your dark places of doubt and disbelief if you want to ask him. Because while we cannot all rock turbans on hair and giant rings on our fingers like She does, we all have been designed to rock our own unique self.  Sometimes we start to doubt that.

Life-As-She-Does-It friends, you are women so unique. If you stumbled here to read about a legit recipe to prepare with hopes to razzle-dazzle your people for a meal train, or you have come seeking encouragement on how to make the magnificent mundane, know that life as You do it has great purpose and significance. Perhaps you are fashioned to be the mom that wears yoga pants every day and puts on make-up once a year for your husbands work Christmas party but you read books to your kids in the best character voices and make a slammin-good lasagna. Or maybe you are the woman who does not leave the house without her lashes on and lips drawn, who started her own business and is not looking to start a family as she is diving into the calling God put on her heart. Either way. Every way.
 
Designed.

Own it. You are a created woman. You've nailed it.

The Pursuit of a Domestic Pursuit: A Guest Blog

Photo Source HERE

Hi, All!  I have a treat for you guys and cannot WAIT to share it!  I have a guest blogger today by the name of Katy Livingston, and let me just tell you - she has a GIFT, Ya'll!  She is a talented writer (visit her blog!), and a devoted mom and wife.  She is, in my opinion, a GREAT balancer, which is rare these days.  She may say otherwise, though, as we women tend to do.  But I'll let her tell you more: TAKE IT AWAY, KATY!

Hey all, I'm Katy, and I usually blog over here at http://livingaslivingstons.blogspot.com/.  A HUGE thanks to Sheila for inviting me to this corner of the interweb!  I have never “guest blogged” so to speak, so Sheila is taking a huge risk here. If you haven't met She, one of her biggest gifts is that people like me can't say “no” to her. I am filled with equal parts admiration and fear of her.  It's a beautiful thing. So full disclosure before we get started:

On being almost 30 Without Finding a Domestic Pursuit

If you know me, you know this: I have the best parents in the world. My life growing up was pretty much cake (even though the recent release of Jurassic World has freshly opened the wound from when the original Jurassic Park came out in theaters and my parents wouldn't let me see it because it was PG-13 and I was probably 8. It's 5 years, guys! No one even follows those rules!)

Despite the awesomeness of having folks who loved us and even seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time with us, I recently discovered that I missed out on one key aspect of adulthood: a domestic hobby. My mother succeeded in all aspects except passing down a really cool skill that I can utilize now and bring with me into my golden years. I look around and see other ladies who have creative hobbies, and I feel left out.  While I am totally at peace with the whole Stay-at-Home Mom gig, I just haven't even found my thing.  I have friends who may use extra time alone to craft because it's “cathartic.” If I have some extra time to myself, I think, “I guess I could shave my legs or something...”

So far, my domestic hobbies are as follows:

• having babies

• making lists

• finding dessert recipes on Pinterest for my husband to bake

• blog stalking

• going to Kroger (I know this is weird. But seriously, grocery shopping is the best!)

Now, lest you think I have spent no time brainstorming other options:

•  I considered learning to sew. I even made a sewing board on Pinterest, but as it turns out, I just like making boards, because it's the same as writing a list. My sweet friend tried to teach me how to thread the needle of a sewing machine, and I was just sitting there, sweating, trying to remember what she was saying.  Why are there 4 steps just to put thread in there?! There has to be a better way.  Add this to the fact that my Mother-in-law is literally a professional quilter, and I don't want to bother trying to live up to that level.

•  Gardening: Maybe. This one is still a consideration. I can't see myself enjoying crawling around on the ground and getting dirt all over my hands, but I guess that shouldn't bother me since I spend most of my days in the cesspool that is kid germs.  Also, it's blazing hot outside.

•  Knitting/Crocheting: I don't know the difference between the two. I love the idea of sitting in a rocking chair and having a little project in my lap. But the counting. The counting.  I can see myself losing count and ruining scarves that I won't ever have the opportunity to wear because of the blazing heat.

•  Cooking: I generally prefer eating. Cooking is fine, but I don't love it. I also don't seem to have a knack for it.  Plus, I don't usually try any recipe with over 5 real ingredients, 5 steps, and like 4 dishes to clean.  I do love the Food Network, though.

•  Photography: This is the last photo I've  taken:

Please do not copy this photo - all rights (reservedly) reserved through Katy Livingston

#ExhibitA #nofilter

•  Crossfit: because... I just can't, y'all. Also, I don't want to “Eat clean and train dirty.” I mostly just want to train a little bit dirty and not really eat clean at all. I don't need that kind of peer pressure in my life.

Here is where I have hit the dead end. But I would be lying if I said I didn't have one pursuit at all. I sort of do: reading.  As a kid, I used to read in the car on the 4-minute drive home from elementary school. In middle school, I used to read a lot of novels about people with terminal illnesses, and my mom was worried I would need therapy or something. I forgot how to read for fun during high school and college. My friends who worked at a bookstore would give me book recommendations that never failed to stir up something in me and bring me back to the joy of a new book. Then somewhere along the way, I let myself fall into the mom trap of surviving the day and falling onto the couch for some mind-numbing tv before bed every. single. day.

But guess what? I just joined a book club. And I just started reading a real book, and I love it. I feel like a new woman. And I'm going to try to not be too awkward when I meet some new ladies to eat snacks and chat about said book. And I won't feel badly that I don't have a thing right now that allows me to make someone a gourmet meal or sew cute baby gifts or have a beautifully landscaped yard or homegrown vegetables or a sick body. I'll just enjoy those few minutes I have been spending every night immersed in a beautiful, new world by the glow of my Kindle light while my husband drifts off to sleep next to me.

Because that's enough for me right now.

What She Wore, Crabs, & More

Photo Source: HERE

Look, I know the title of this post makes me sound a lot like Dr. Seuss, but there is a method to my madness.

There are so many successful blogs out there, and I really want to be one of them.  So in doing my research on what makes some of them so successful, I discovered that several of them include a “What I Wore” post every-so-often.  Well, Ladies (and if the title didn’t turn you away from reading on, Fellas, then I respectfully include you, too), since that is not exactly my style – to brag on my style – I thought, “Perhaps I can demonstrate my own take on it, She-STYLE.”  (See what I did just there?)

You see, every Fourth of July, The Hubster (Adrian) and I have our Annual Camping on the Beach Date Night.  (I capitalize it to emphasize its importance).  This year, he decided it was time to christen me to the crabbing world. 

Now I don’t know about you, but Date Night of any kind is an exciting thought – even if you know you’re gonna catch crabs.  So every year for camping, being the Bohemian-Glitter-Girl that I am, I try to dress up without dressing up.  I want my man to think I’m purty after all; but I also don’t want to wear a ball-gown to the murky waters of Surfside, Texas. 

In all the afore-mentioned blog posts, these girls have definitely got their sassy pants (or dresses, or whatever) on.  Trendy, pricey, and GORGEOUS.  Thing is, my take is a little different.  For instance, let me walk you through last year’s ensemble:

This image is © 2015 by Life As She Does It. Please link back or credit if any content or images are used.

Hat: 99 Cent Store, $1, Glasses: Target (pronounced “tarjay”, of course) Dollar Clearance Bins, $1, Earrings: Beauty by Chelsea, thank you very much (in other words, The Daughts gave them to me), Shirt: Tough Mudder Team Carpe Diem, Free (I EARNED that sucker!!), Capri Mom-Jeans: Goodwill, $4.99, Shoes: Penny Wise Resale, $2

Yea.  Not too trendy OR pricey.  (But guess what?  The Hubster DID say I looked GORGEOUS.  Even in my high-waisted mom-jean capris.  He made the conscious effort to say so.  Rare, I know.) 

This year's ensemble and where it came from would equally bore you, but the date details wouldn’t.  (No.  Not THOSE details, Dirty-Birdies) So we use our small means to make for a big night…who CARES about that part?  The tent goes in the back of the truck and we literally lay on cardboard and blankets.  We drink wine out of plastic wine glasses that get sand in them and make our mouths a little gritty.  We watch the free fireworks at night over the sand and water.  And boy-oh-BOY did we go CRABBING!  We caught a bountiful booty of blues…and then we partook in the trophy that was sweet crabby meat!  Did it REALLY matter what I wore?  To take this moment in our very SHORT lives to breathe each other in?  To take this moment in our very BUSY lives to remember how small we are next to the great, big ocean God created, but how meaningful our living legacy and the one we leave behind can be in the very moment we remember that?

What you have or how much you spend does not make the man (or woman), I tell ya.  What you do with what you’ve been given sure does.  Do you let bitter people steal your joy?  Or are you, perhaps, one of those joy-thieves referred to? Are you making the most of every, single, precious moment?  Or are you recklessly wasting time sweating the small stuff? 

Are you dressing for success when you wake up without even thinking about clothing, or in your most-expensive clothes are you setting yourself and others up for failure?

Are you basking in crabs, or are you one of them?

Me?  When others are talking about What SHE Wore, I hope they are inclined to say, “Her heart.”

To She or Not to She (looking for a Valentine?)

This image is © 2015 by Life As She Does It. Please link back or credit if any content or images are used. 

To know me is to love me…is NOT what most people say if they know me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I know people who know me do, indeed, love me.  Keeping it real, though:  if they KNOW me, AND they love me – it’s a dangerous cocktail.

I am not your average, uhhhh, (rephrase) NORMAL person.

I am a Jesus freak, a control freak…a freak of nature.  I have extreme obsessive compulsive disorder about having order, am obsessed with my husband, and compulsive about just about anything.  I love wine, hate whining, and whine about whiners.  I am extremely organized in some ways, extremely messy in others, and just plain extreme.  I am eccentric, but old-fashioned.  I am a good cooker, bad with numbers, and mediocre in almost everything else.  I want my kids to be independent, as long as they depend on me.  I'm very serious, and I'm very silly.  And I'm very serious about being silly.  I have a collection of unconventional hats, which I wear to conventional places.  I sing with every song on the radio, and with every song in my heart.  I am obnoxious, but long-suffering.  I am patient, but not for long.  I want to serve, and I find it hard to receive being served.  I’m always tired, but hate to sleep.  I make presents way more than I buy presents, and I love being present.  I love being on-stage and putting it all out there, yet I’m one of the most private people I know.  My living legacy is important to me, and the legacy I leave behind is, too.  I’m a tad narcissistic, and a tad self-loathing.  I’m a tough nut to crack.  I’m a nut.

I’m not the easiest person to love – ESPECIALLY if you know me.

I am sure, though, if I know YOU, I love you.  In some way, and by some show – albeit nominal or intense - I absolutely love you.  It could be the bread I made you from scratch, the prayer I say for you, or the hug I make linger for a long (and sometimes awkward) time with you……or just by telling you so.  But you can bet - I love you.

So, if you're looking for a Valentine:  To She or not to She.  THAT is the question.  Good luck to you, WHICHEVER you choose.

The Perfect Blend

https://www.flickr.com/photos/rgarciasuarez74/4012174390/

When I met Adrian, it was clear we had similar "baggage". We both came from a not-so-amicable divorce, we both had children from that previous marriage, and we both were never going to get married again. (Ya see how that worked out, don't ya?)

These days, we live in a society of blended families. It's the norm, really. People never used to be as surprised to hear an older, married couple say they were celebrating their 25th, 40th, or 50th wedding anniversary. Nowadays, it's astonishing just to hear if someone hasn't been divorced at least once. And yep - I'm part of that society.

After we started seeing each other on a serious level (sounds so mature, doesn't it?), we knew that we weren't just seeing each other, but also each other's children. Then, when we got married, we knew we weren't just marrying each other, but becoming part of the parental units the children would share. I am a person of faith, and I can tell you that the moment I accepted Adrian's proposal, I prayed he would be an example of a man that would buy the truth and not sell it; gain wisdom, instruction, and understanding, and then deliver it to our children. I prayed with all my might he would put aside all judgment and generously share with the children his unconditional love he had for me, and that he would have a "Joseph-spirit", (Joseph, the step-father of Jesus, who, in my opinion was the greatest step-father who ever lived).

I prayed he would be the perfect father, and that together we would be the perfect parents.

Um, NO.

Though at the present time I am the richest woman in the world, it has not come without its trials, pitfalls, difficulties, and snags. The process has been less-than-perfect. There have been disagreements, arguments, knock-down-drag-outs, and moments we are less-than-proud of. We have seen illness, death, valleys, and psychiatrists. We have had seasons where we gained friends and family, but also lost friends and family. We have shared in drama, defeat, lost savings; had powerful, emotional lows, and scraped the bottom of life's barrel. And we did it all together.

Don't get me wrong, we have all - Adrian, me, AND the kids - worked at it with all our hearts, and the price of the success we share as a family unit came through that hard work and dedication. Because with all of those things, we have also seen grace, mercy, compassion, and triumph over illness. We have been taught endurance, grown in faith, strength, and perseverance, and learned to trust. We have celebrated the peaks, marriages, each other, life, and love. And we did it all together.

We have a beautiful family, and we are protective of that. We live a charmed life, always enjoying the things that most people don't see right in front of them, and we are joyful and thankful for that. But if it was all taken away from us tomorrow, we would remember that life is a big canvas and we threw all the paint on it we could; we would remember that we made the decision to be a family and commit ourselves to making it a success; we would remember that without the valleys there would be no peaks. We would remember that we were given the gift of being like a unique wine - the gift of being intricately perfected and blended.

Hard-Working Valentine

Photo Source: http://moonstarsandpaper.blogspot.com/2007_02_01_archive.html

One Valentine’s Day years ago, my husband asked me on a date.  Now, as married people trying to keep our marriage fresh, we go on date night quite often.  Sometimes it’s a romantic dinner out; sometimes it’s a romantic dinner in.  Sometimes it costs money, sometimes it doesn't.  A successful marriage is hard work and well worth it in the long run.

This particular time he took me out to dinner.  It was very nice.  I thought to myself how sweet my husband was as we were on our way home.  As we pulled in the driveway, I noticed he looked a little nervous.  Knowing my darling husband’s affinity for gas, I assumed the meal wasn't sitting right.

“I know this sounds weird, but I need you to stay in the truck for a few minutes.”  I had no idea what the heck he was talking about.  This particular Valentine’s was a little chilly outside and I had no intention of sitting in the truck to wait for the beautiful heat I knew was calling my name from inside the house.

“I don’t have a choice, She.  Please just trust me and stay out here for a few minutes.  I’ll come get you.”  He must have read my face.  But I’m no fool.  It was obvious at that point he had something romantically diabolical going on, and I wasn't ABOUT to ruin it.

Sure enough, a few minutes later my husband came to retrieve his chilly wife.  He came around to the door, opened it, took my hand, and looked like he was about to cry.  I realized that I, too, started getting a little nervous.

As I got to the walkway and was looking down in an attempt to watch where I was going in the dark in very high shoes, I noticed rose petals.  Lots and lots of them.  And they went right under the front door.  I stopped and looked up at Adrian, who REALLY looked anxious and weepy-eyed now.  He got in front of me, still holding my hand, and he opened the door.

Now to some, what I’m about to tell you he did may sound cheesy. And I don’t care.  That’s why he’s the best husband ever.  He IS cheesy, and he IS romantic, and he owns it, and that, Ladies, and Gentlemen, is why you can’t stop reading this particular blog post.  BOOM.

The door opened and it was dark, except for the ga-ZILLION candles.  (Maybe it wasn't a gazillion, but it was a lot – like the way you only see it on soap operas or Lifetime moves)  And Sade's  “This Is No Ordinary Love” softly rang through the house,  just like she was singing directly to to ME.   I looked down at the rose-petal path.  The smell of incense was the perfect touch as I looked at Adrian and he told me to “follow the path".  Around the corner and inside the room we go…straight to the bathroom. Wait.  That doesn't sound romantic.  Let me say it another way.  It led me straight to the Bath Room.  There, a hot bubble bath was waiting, with rose petals sprinkled into it.  On the side of the tub…the pièce de résistance – a glass of wine!! 

You would think it stops there.  But it doesn't.  He washed my hair for me.  He washed my feet for me.  And he cried and told me how blessed he was to have me. And all the while, Sade sang her lungs out.

He had really worked hard for me - for us.

And then (of course) as the story goes…Bowchickabowbow!!  (Now simmer down, Folks.  We married-and-deeply-in-love people tend to do that sometimes.)

Go and enjoy your Valentine’s Day.  If you have a Valentine, whether it's your spouse, your parent, a special person in your life -  take the time to put a little hard work into the relationship.  Trust me when I tell you the hard work will pay off in the long run.

 Thank you for being my Valentine every day, Adrian.  I love you so.

This image is © 2015 by Life As She Does It. Please link back or credit if any content or images are used. 

Sam, I Am

Photo Source: http://www.clipartpanda.com/clipart_images/dr-seuss-clip-art-2185822

As a young girl, I, like many other young girls, would dream up my prince charming.  Mine was tall with dark hair and smoldering eyes, smart, and funny.  He would be the guy that would do anything for his wife.  He would ride in (on a white horse, of course) just in time and save the day.  As an (ahem) older, (much) wiser woman, I now realize that dream came true (minus the horse, of course).  But I’m not just talking about my Prince Charming of a husband.  I've been blessed enough to have the very same dream come true for my daughter.  Little did I know when I was praying for that perfect guy for me, I was asking for the very same for my then not-yet-a-twinkle-in-my-eye daughter.

Sam is what I always refer to as “proof of the power of a praying parent.”  (Say THAT five times fast!)  To say that he is a good husband to our daughter is an understatement.  There is no doubt in our minds that if there was a bullet coming toward her, he would jump in front of it (though we believe it would bounce off his chest).  Yes.  He is definitely a superhero.  The gentle, sweet, and lovely kind  - with the inner strength and moxie of ten men.

But being Chelsea’s husband is not Sam’s entire identity to us.  Sam is someone we've watched go through the horrific loss of his older brother with grace and mourn his loss with full-force.  Sam is that same man that stood with his shoulders taut so that his family could rest on them during that tragedy.  Sam is the man that stands for what’s right at the risk of losing to what’s wrong.  He is the same man that trembled a little when he proposed to Chelsea, but stood tall and strong to look her in the eye on her wedding day.  Sam is the man that took us to lunch to ask for our daughter’s hand in marriage with the promise to protect her, and the man who has followed through on that promise thus far.  He is the man that looks at me with a softness that makes me forget he’s not my own child.  Sam is the man that can look at Chelsea like she is the most beautiful woman that ever existed and yet, like she’s a steak and he’s starving all at the same time.  He is Sam.  Not Sam who tries too hard or pretends to be someone he isn't.  If you were to ask him why he is this way and how did he get here, he would humbly shrug his shoulders, and say with that serious tone-of-voice and a wry little half-smile, “That’s just who I am.”

Sam, I am.

I don’t know that I can extend to you how grateful I am to have that for Chelsea – and for this family.  In this world, and in this life, you never know what you’re going to get.   But I prayed for him – and he came.  God sent him.  Yes.  Sam is a God-send.

Our family goes through the ups and the downs.   And Sam is part of both every step of the way.  But his faith remains strong.  His belief system is part of his make-up – and he won’t let his own burdens weigh on you.  I sometimes stand in amazement at how this is true of our son-in-law.  I watch him with his wife (our daughter) and how he loves her without condition.  I watch him with his younger brother and two younger brothers-in-law, and how he tries so hard to be a leader.  I watch him with his parents and how he loves them enough to be his own man, but thankful for the man they've helped him become.  I watch him silently allow people to be themselves while he slyly watches in the background, careful never to steal any thunder.  I watch him and wish I could say I was Sam.  Sam, I am.

These images are © 2015 by Life As She Does It. Please link back or credit if any content or images are used. 

Angry Birds

Photo Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/tripletsisters/

Not everyone and not every time, but I’ve discovered that the majority of couples that have been together for a while tend to discourage newer couples......maybe it’s subconscious, may be it isn't, but either way - they do it.  An example of what I mean:  A baby bird couple with their brand new love-nest is holding hands and nuzzling noses in front of an older couple. “How long have you been married?” they ask. “Two years”, reply the baby bird couple. “Ooohhhhh. THAT explains it. Just wait until you’re at ten years! That lovey-dovey stuff WILL change!!”

Why does it have to? Adrian and I have been together 13 years, and married for 11 ½ of them, and I can guarantee we love and care for one another much deeper and more than EVER. We’ve discussed it, in fact. We definitely nuzzle and snuggle and hold hands and (get ready for it) are intimate – OFTEN.

We tease our daughter and son-in-law, Chelsea and Sam, a lot because they are so cheesy. She literally has six (and counting!) 'I Love My Hubby' t-shirts. And social media?? FORGET IT! They are so schmoopy-woopy that it gives ya a tooth ache when you read their status updates! We told them they had one year of newly-wedded bliss before we would start calling them out about it and they needed to cease and desist because it was ridiculous. Well, their one-year anniversary was this last week. And I’ve changed my mind – shame on us for ever trying to STOP them from openly caring for one another and spread the love! They can be as sugary and drippy as they want – it is NOT ridiculousness. It is a gem that they have such a magnificent appeal and affinity for one another and I pray I never discourage it again. They have even said to Adrian and I they have learned so much about how to be a loving couple from us, so why would I ever want to discourage them from shouting from the rooftops and having love and respect for one another?...for being love birds?

Here is the part where I want to make sure I’m real with you – am I saying Adrian and I do not get on each other’s nerves or have disagreements? No. You better bet your bippy nothing could be further from the truth. I have always said the hardest job in the world is being married to me and being the confident husband that lets me be myself. I’ve also said that our son-in-law is proof of the power of a praying parent. Being a couple is HARD WORK.  If you’re willing to put in that hard work, it can only get better, and not be so hard in the long run.  You can become mature, full-feathered love birds.

If you don’t believe in public displays of affection or that it’s possible to still get butterflies when your other half walks into the room (like I do), and you are certain that’s the way life as a couple is expected to turn out, then so be it. I just think we should try not to wring the love out of the couples that don’t share that belief by pushing those views on THEM and telling them that’s the way it’s supposed to be for EVERYONE.

Recently, I witnessed the face of baby bird drop when she heard from an angry bird how disappointing husbands become and that the blush on her cheeks when talking about her husband would fade with time. I looked baby love bird straight in the eyes and said “That’s not how my husband and I are and we’ve been together 13 years. He is the love of my life. Its hard work to keep it sizzling, but we manage. It’s SO worth it.” She looked at me with hope in her eyes as the angry bird snapped, “Well, that’s rare.”

And she’s right. It is.

We, as mere human beings (the bird analogy was for the sake of the post), tend to cling to the negative. We also tend to discourage naturally. The truth is, we ALL want encouragement, love, and respect for emotional wholeness in ANY relationship we have. Concentrate. Make certain you hold the relationships in your life to a high esteem and don't force your own negativity on those who seem happy. Keep it real, knowing it’s not an easy road - but if you're conscientious about what you say and how you say it; if you’re willing to admit that lovey-dovey is not ridiculous, but rather ATTAINABLE; if you choose to be a love bird instead of an angry bird and you’re swift to deliver the message that you’re on love’s side and it’s so worth it – IT WILL BE.