BREAKING BREAD

LASDI©

You won't believe this.  I mean, it took me a few blank stares and lots (and lots!) of tastes to believe it myself!  

As you know, I'm the low-carb girl of the family, and quite often cook that way without The Hubster even noticing.  Well, this is another sneaky-not-sneaky way of getting our low-carb on without allowing him to feel like he is missing out on anything.

For Superbowl Sunday,  he wanted wings and turkey burgers.  So of course I made them instead of buying them because that way I can control the ingredients.  For the burger buns I made cauli-bread.  Yes, I know.  That doesn't sound like the appealing direction I was taking when you first started reading.  But trust me here - this was OUTSTANDING!

I took a few recipes that I found along with some that were sent to me, added my own flare and touches, and came up with what I think is the best "bread" you could ask for!  This recipe is for flat, round buns.  And it was beyond delish!

CAULI-BUNS

1 head cauliflower, "riced" (Or if you can find it pre-made in a bag, PERFECT!) (see notes)

3 eggs

1 cup mozzarella cheese

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

1 tbs sea salt

1 tbs pepper

Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Combine all ingredients in a bowl.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper (this is CRUCIAL for the success of these "breads").  Place mounds of the cauli-mixture into whatever mold suits your purpose.  In this case, it was the same round mold we used for the turkey burgers so they would fit perfectly.  Bake for about 20 minutes.  here's the thing: if they are not golden brown on top, WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE.  Flip for 5 more minutes.  Let rest for a minute or two before removing from the baking sheet.

NOTES:  Don't use frozen cauliflower or froze riced cauliflower, as there will just be too much moisture.  The other thing about this recipe is you can litch-rah-lay do whatever you want to make it INTO whatever you want.  For example: add lots of Italian seasoning and plenty of garlic and shape it into a long mound and you've got breadsticks!  If you want, you can add fresh sage and a tiny bit more sea salt and you've got hasbrown bread!  If you like, you can add cheese at the very end and heat until melty and you've got cheesy bread!  This is also SHEsTox-friendly for Week Three!  I promise you this, you will NOT believe how "bready" these things are.  It's delicious INSANITY without the carbs!

PLAYING SQUASH

All year long I wait in anticipation for October to get here.  For my family, it means our annual Fall Family Day, the start of the Renaissance Festival, and all things autumn eating!!  For October, and considering my obsessive compulsivité, I cook orange-colored things or autumn-inspired foods.  So this night I had a turkey tenderloin that I cooked up with clove, sea salt and pepper, served in its own juices, and I paired it with the butternut squash and dried cranberries I had in the fridge.  The squash was AH-MAHZ.  Like, the stuff dreams are made of.  So that's the recipe you have here.  Happy Autumn, Everyone!  Be blessed in abundance!

BUTTERNUT SQUASH WITH DRIED CRANBERRIES

1 butternut squash, halved and seeded

extra virgin olive oil (evoo)

1 tbs sea salt

1 tbs pepper

1 tbs pumpkin pie spice

1 tsp ground cloves

1/2 tsp cayenne

1/2 cup dried cranberries

1/4 cup parsley, chopped finely

Sprinkle the two halves of the squash with evoo, place flesh-side-down on a prepared baking sheet, and roast at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.  Let cool for five minutes.  Scoop out the flesh from the inside of the squash into a pan sprinkled lightly with evoo.  Add seasonings and smash with a potato masher while it cooks on medium heat for about one minute and to desired consistency.  Remove from heat and gently fold cranberries in.  Sprinkle with parsley before serving.  This is SHEtox Week Three -friendly and low-carb!

Mellow Yellow

LASDI©

So there I was, staring at another piece of fish and wondering how in the WORLD I was going to put it on a plate with  a little variety.  I considered my obsessive compulsivité with colors and months and wondered if I could fit in that it was August and that means yellow.  I looked in the fridge for whatever veggies I might have to help out, and lo-and-behold!  I found yellow squash, yellow bell peppers, and lemons!  I made lemon-thyme cod, sauteed peppers and onions, and yellow squash moots-a-rell au gratin.  This was going to be fun AND delicious to cook AND eat!  This is totally Week Three-friendly for the Detox & Cleanse, low-carb for all you low-carbers, and delicious for all you EVERYONES!!  

YELLOW SQUASH MOOTS-A-RELL AU GRATIN

4 yellow squash, sliced about 1/2 inch thick

1 can rotel

1- 8 oz pkg mozzarella cheese

1 tbs sea salt

1 tbs white pepper

1 tsp garlic powder

Place one even layer of squash in a prepared 9x13 baking pan, sprinkle with half the can of rotel, mozzarella cheese, sea salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Place the rest of the squash in a layer over the first layer, then repeat with the other half of the rotel, seasonings, and cheese.  Bake at 350 degrees for about 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown and bubbly on top.

My Crabby Friend

Photo Cred: HERE

My friend, Hugh Durlam, is a FANTASTIC cook.  And when he decided to do my Inside-Out Detox & Cleanse (aka, and lovingly referred to as the "SHEtox") I knew he would make a mockery of the fear of what to cook.  And I was right!

When he made these beautiful crab cakes for a Week Two-friendly meal, I knew I needed the recipe.  He agreed that I could share it with you all.  You're welcome.

DURLAM'S LOW-CARB CRAB CAKES

1 head of cauliflower
1lb lump crab meat, cleaned and picked for shells
2 eggs, beaten
2 green onions (scallions), chopped
2 oz crumbled feta (Week Two) or fresh shredded Parmesan (Week Three). And buy the good stuff (treat yo self!)
onion powder
garlic powder
sea salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 350.  Pulse cauliflower in processor. layout flat on parchment on large cookie sheet. Place in oven for 10 min. Place towel or cheese cloth into bowl. Dump cauliflower on to towel. Grab the loose ends of the towel like a hand and start to twist the cauliflower into a ball, twisting and squeezing as hard as you can. you'll be surprised how much water comes out. 
Now drink that water!
Did you drink it?
That's gross! :)

Mix all ingredients in large bowl. Heat up your skillet with extra virgin olive oil.  Make tight patties in your hand and place in hot pan. (Should sizzle) Cook about 5 min on each side. Flip carefully as they don't tend to stick as well as the fattening ones do.

Makes 10 patties!

NOTES: I made them and used parsley in the mix, as well as some fresh herbs I had in the fridge.  WONDERFUL!!  Made me feel crabby, too!
 

DINNER FOR BREAKFAST

I just don't like to waste food!  I cannot even begin to tell you how it pains me to do so.  So when there are just three or four sauteed yellow peppers (for my obsessive-color-compulsivité for August, of course!) left over from dinner, I pack them in a snack baggie and save them.  Or when there are a few spoons-full left from the yellow squash casserole, I don't throw it away.  I have no idea at the time what I may do with it, but I know I have to do SOMETHING.  I am using those specific examples because that is exactly what I had in the fridge this morning and knew I needed to use it so it didn't go bad.  I also saw a jalapeno pepper on its last leg and felt sorry for it so I took out the leftovers and the pepper.  I created one of the very best frittatas I've ever had in my LIFE.  The recipe will give the measurements of the leftovers, in case it sounds so good, you just want to create it from scratch, but remember: you can use practically ANYTHING in a frittata!  This is also SHEtox Week-Three friendly and low-carb!  So go wild and take your dinner left-overs and make yourself some breakfast!!

DINNER FOR BREAKFAST FRITTATA

Extra virgin olive oil (evoo)

1 jalapeno, sliced thin *de-seeded if you don't like heat*

4-5 slices sauteed yellow bell pepper and onion, cut into small pieces

1/4 cup yellow squash gratin   (sliced yellow squash, now diced, sea salt, pepper, garlic powder, ro-tel tomatoes, mozzarella cheese)

4 eggs

1 tbs milk

1 tsp sea salt

1 tsp pepper

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp paprika 

1 tsp cumin

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a medium-sized oven-safe frying pan, sprinkle enough evoo to barely cover the bottom and heat for one minute over medium heat.  Add jalapeno slices and cook leave in oil, making sure they are not stacked, for about two minutes until almost crisp.  Add (left over) yellow bell pepper and onion, and (left over) yellow squash casserole.  Stir and let warm through (see notes) for about a minute.  Meanwhile, put eggs and milk in a small bowl and whisk like crazy.  Add seasonings and whisk again.  Pour over mixture in pan and with a wooden spoon or delicate spatula and gently scrape bottom of pan through egg mixture, and then gently scrape egg edges down toward the bottom of the pan.  Remove from heat and place in oven.  Bake for about ten minutes, or until cooked through and to desired consistency.

NOTES: If you are not using leftovers and are starting from scratch, place the yellow bell pepper and onion, as well as the diced yellow squash a some tomato in the pan with the jalapeno.  Directly before adding the egg mixture, sprinkle the mozzarella over the top of the veggie mixture in the pan.  But a frittata is the perfect avenue for any of your dinner leftovers!!

BURGER, SHE WROTE

LASDI©

It is no secret I am a Low-Carb Girl.  But I am only human.  And I have needs, too!!  And sometimes, I just NEEDS a bun for my turkey burger!!  I saw a ton of videos going around for grilled cheese made with cauliflower "bread".  I thought perhaps I could do something similar for a burger.  And let me just tell YOU!!  It.  Was.  EPIC.  Granted, it was not as bun-y as regular bread, but it did the trick!  It satiated a craving, and it tasted great!  I put some smashed avocado on it, then the turkey burger, some home-made spiced mayo, and roasted jalapenos.  My mouth is watering just THINKING about it!!  Oh yea......for all you SHEtoxers, this is Week Three-friendly!!

CAULIFLOWER BURGER BUN

2 cups raw cauliflower

2 tbs almond flour

2 tbs coconut flour

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp pepper

1 tsp sea salt

1 tbs toasted sesame seeds (I used black for color)

2 eggs

Pulse cauliflower in food processor until fine, and mix all the ingredients together.  Place a cookie cutter or other "shaper"  on parchment paper placed on a baking sheet and put your cauliflower mix into it to desired thickness.  Bake at 400 degrees for about ten minutes, flip it and cook for another ten minutes.  Transfer it onto a hot, dry pan (I used my cast-iron skillet, of course!) or grill, and cook for a few minutes on each side to make it firmer and more pliable.  I made mine an open-faced turkey burger, but feel free to use a top AND a bottom!!  Scandalous!!

NO TEARS HERE!

SHE2016©

I mostly make onion soup in the fall and winter, with plops of brie, and drops of toasted home-made bread.  But with the “She-tox Detox” everywhere I look right now, and Spring moving to Summer, it was time to lighten it up and make it inside-out Cleanse-Friendly.  So I made it with vodka instead of Winter-rich brandy (you can use veggie broth instead, Cleansers!), used a bright seasoning, and made the onions translucent instead of deeply caramelized.  It was unbelievably delicious and ridiculously EASY!!  Paired with a simple salad of Romaine and cucs with home-made lemon-poppy-seed (heavy on the poppy-seed for me, if you please!) dressing, there were no tears involved from THESE onions!

SPRING-TO-SUMMER ONION SOUP       

4 medium purple onion, cut in half and sliced thinly

extra virgin olive oil (evoo)

1 tbs sea salt

1 tbs pepper

1 tbs garlic powder

1 tbs herbes de provence

½ cup vodka

1 ½ boxes vegetable broth

Sprinkle enough evoo in a heavy soup pot to cover the bottom.  Heat on medium for about a minute or so and then add onion.  Cook on medium heat for about two minutes and add all seasoning.  Continue to cook, stirring constantly, until onions are translucent, about five more minutes.  Add the vodka a little at a time, letting it evaporate into the onion each time before adding more until vodka is gone and onion has absorbed all of it.  Add vegetable broth and turn heat to low.  Let simmer fifteen minutes and EAT!!

NOTES:  This is Meatless Monday friendly, too!  If you are on Week One or Two of the “She-tox” Detox, omit vodka and simply use a shot of the veggie broth instead.  The flavor profile changes a bit, but worth it while you cleanse.  This recipe is perfect for Week Three!  Interested in this Cleanse & Detox?  Message me!  Want to help the Texas Flood Victims but not sure how?  Message me!  Want to make some variation suggestions for the recipe?  Message me!!  I love all feedback, and love you She-Peeps!!

SHE2016©